Boyfriend/Girlfriend: A Crash Course in “Making Love”

Monday night she says
she wants to be friends again
We were best
friends,
she says
I agree
and she agrees
to meet me at the Mobil
in thirty minutes from now
I was right around the corner
when I got the text
I was just so happy
to put this fight
behind us
and go back to being friends
like we were before
It was all I ever wanted
to go back to the way things were
when we could just sit and talk
without all the added complications

I’d known her for
about a year
and a half
only I never really thought of her
as a friend
up until two to two and a half
months ago
when we met at the coffee shop
so she could help me format
a story to be submitted
to a magazine
I thought it was quite strange when
she wanted to spend
so much time with me
from here on out

We went to Sidebar
This is the first time
she’d ever seen me drink
I had a cider
She was three, maybe four or five
or six
dirty martinis deep
I felt warm and fuzzy
grinning beneath my
blackened shades
She hugged me
She missed me
I missed her too
I hugged her back
I was grinning
She was grinning
We grinned together
forever stuck in a gaze
that felt timeless in the way
it embraced us like we were
there all alone
She kissed me
deep
It took me by surprise
I kissed her back
I had missed her
We were friends again

I wasn’t planning on staying
over at her place
but she got sick and
I needed to help her
get home
There was just so much passion
that one night
At her place the passion throbbed
with endorphins
lust desire & encapsulating romance
I didn’t want the moment to end
It went on forever
She wanted to have sex
I didn’t want this night to end
My hardness throbbed
Her heart pulsated
She was wet all over
I was overtaken by
sensory sensations
I forgot how much
I had missed this
Kissing her deep
Holding her tight
My hands rolling over
the curves of her body
like vivacious sandy dunes
She wanted to have sex
I didn’t want this night
to end
It went on forever
I throbbed

Last time we had dated
she had picked on me
constantly
relentlessly
about this&that
She didn’t want to call herself
my girlfriend
or me her
boyfriend
I didn’t push it
Just went along with
the flow
She felt conflicted
about
me
about how she felt
I loved her but didn’t miss
the manipulation
she exhibited
near the end
I kissed her on the lips and
blanked out

Days later I was gonna ask:
What are we now?
Are we dating?
Together?
Friends with
benefits?
All of the above—any of
the above, I didn’t mind
I just wanted to be near her
forever
and she just wanted me
to close my arms
around her till we both
evaporated
together
like dew on the tip of
a rose bud on a hot
summer night
So I didn’t push the label
Just went with the waves
She & I
two intensely wound individuals
set
on a crash course to
unravel like a slinky
as we plummet down a winding staircase
sinking
deeper
& deeper
into oblivion
I knew where we were heading
and we were heading there
faster than the heart can
beat
and around her my heart beat
fast

She used the word first:
GIRLFRIEND
We were no longer plummeting
Three weeks apart had brought us
even closer together
No more picking on me
picking me apart
kicking me while I’m down
round&round we flailed
but now no more!

She told me about this thing called
“making love”
I didn’t believe her
I’ve had sex with
40+ girls
and it was all the same
in the end
Empty
Jaded
No intimacy needed
Fuck you till I
cum
and then I’ll leave you to
your own devices
while I put my pants back on and
leave you in my dust
But now
I wanted something so much deeper
more intimate
more romantic
A friend once told me about this
special moment when
two bodies lock together
in perfect unity
unified and perfect
She & I
our bodies locked
She’s different than
any other girl I’ve
ever dated
and our souls merged together
our heads becoming a solid
field
our brains blanking out
I know I love her
I know she loves me
too
When I came it was
magical
When she came it was
sensational
Her hand shook as we stared at
one another smoking cigarettes
in the bathroom
The shower washed away our sins
and we blended together like
a strawberry/banana smoothie

It could all be a delusion
but I know it’s true
the way I feel
about her
and I hope she feels it
too

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